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Riki Lindhome, Our Close Friend
"Riki Lindhome, Our Close Friend" is the two-hundred-forty-fifth episode of Hollywood Handbook. Official Earwolf Page Earwolf Synopsis Sean and Hayes are joined by RIKI LINDHOME from Garfunkel and Oates and Another Period for another big performance they’re doing. This episode is sponsored by Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com code: THEBOYS) and Harry’s (www.harrys.comcode: HANDBOOK). Notes & Memorable Quotes Pre-Guest Segment * Sean with Timothy Olyphant and Drew Barrymore painting human femurs to look like candy canes for the Christmas episode of Santa Clarita Diet. ** Sean runs props on Santa Clarita Diet ** The props where looking: yummy-but-funny, scary-but-cool, fresh-and-irreverent, please-don't-stop-thinking-of-ways-to-describe-this-funny-prop * Unprecedented! Riki asks a question before being introduced! "Is that show about cannibals?" ** Sean - it is about cannonballs * Riki was in an episode of Bones ** Hayes suggests the even thought she didn't commit the murder, she should have said she did on camera. Then the writers would HAVE to work around her. * Hayes asks, "What video game would you want to live in?" ** Sean: Candy Crush ** Riki: Tetris, as the "L" piece that keeps ruining everyone's lives ** Hayes - no one asks him what his video game would be, but that's his role in the show "to give and give and give". *** This hurts Sean so he retreats into his phone ** Hayes' choice - Leisure Suit Larry: Love for Sail! *** Sean has a memory resurface of his dad's friend, Cesar (a prison guard), wanting to show Leslie (Sean's dad) Leisure Suit Larry. *** Hayes would like to be one of Larry's babes. He wants to be seen in that way Guest Segment * Engineer Sam is supposed to help trick the audience that this is a live show at Bonnaroo. Similar to Stagecouch tricky ep. Kate Micucci, Our Close Friend * Sickie Riki - the sickest mother-fucker in town! * Hayes thinks Riki is the second or third sickest Ricky - behind Ricky Gervais * "Ricky Gervais literally doesn't believe in the bible." -Sean * Funniest story in the bible: Deuteronomy ** Dude has a rod in him - Dude-a-rod-in-me ** Judas asks where Dude is. Dude walks in and says, "Dude, a rod in me" pointing to his keister. * Hayes favorite bible verse: when a kid (on a dare) goes into the bathroom and turns out the lights and says "Virgin Mary" three times. Then she crawls out of the mirror... out of a well in the mirror and then the kid's face is all like *facial disfigurement sound* * Last autumn there was a Dairy Queen commercial casting break-down describing the spokesperson as "A fun improvisor type (...) like (2-3 famous names listed) or Sean and Hayes from Hollywood Handbook" ** Sean plays his two readings he recorded and sent to his agent ** Hayes didn't even try * A real person died at Bonnaroo this year, so the boys and Riki decide to dedicate this show to Marshall Mathers and Stan. * Hayes would like to be Dino (Dido) - sings a verse as Dino from The Flinstones * Sean is going to be Camila Cabello * Band name: Four Yas Blondes * Hayes tells a story about how after watching Little Giants in the theater a small child once thought he was Devon Sawa * Sean tells a story about how a woman once thought he looked like Shane West in A Walk to Remember. ** Sean had dropped out of college and was working at a dry cleaners minor canon collision - Sean vs. "Sean" who went to Harvard where he met all his rich cronies who gave him all his opportunities ** A regular customer came in and said, "Oh good, you're here". She then went back out to drag in her daughter - who Sean knew and went to high school with. ** Sean and the girl pretended not to know each other. ** The end. * Riki tells a story about how a drunk woman once told her she was Gwyneth Paltrow and insisted that Riki was lying to her. * Sam tells a story about how Jonathan Brandis from SeaQuest 2032 has passed away * Once when Sean and his friend Chris were walking down the street a woman asked if they were identical twins. They said no. The woman said, "Yes you are!" ** RIP Chris. He passed away in a car crash. Recurring Segments * (unknown) Recurring Jokes * Scoop Troop - In the pre-guest segment Sean assigns homework to the scoop troop: read all of Elon Musk's stuff. * Crack My Shit Up - Elon Musk is funny as fuck * Sean's Dad - Dad's name is Leslie and he has a prison guard friend named Cesar * Family Mathers - Performance of the song "Stan" * Ricky Gerv-Atheist Ads * Mack Weldon - Mack Weldon (Hayes) the prospector has an underwear drawer full of animals. Sean and Hayes find this exhausting and don't know how PFT does it. Mack prospected some silver to put in the underwear from his silver mine. Sean (the rancher ... outlaw) held up the saloon and got some anti-microbial technology from behind the bar and poured it on the silver underwear so it won't stink. Better than any salsa you can get from NEW YORK CITY! ... exhausting. * Harry's - James Corden (Hayes) interviews Santa man (Sean) on The Late Late Show. Santa man has started working for a great cause: Harry's Razors. Both James and Santa man are fans of Hollywood Handbook and think Sean and Hayes are really cool. In a twist predicted by no one, James rips his face off and turns out be... Moriarty! After an intense action sequence Santa man defeats Moriarty with a "Big Flip". * Earwolf - The boys explaining how to support Earwolf and the show. Clearly this is the beginning of the end. Try subscribing to the show, tell a friend, or share the show on Facebook. Bosch makes a cameo after Sean says, "Earwolf loves you". Hayes promises to take Chef Kevin with them to a new network. Sean promises the archived episodes tell you how to "beat the market". Only one way to find out. * Sporkful podcast - the ad copy includes the rules for the bad-boys of podcasting the follow. Episode Photos ep245-All.jpg|''(left to right)'' Hayes Davenport, Det. Bosch, Riki Lindhome, Sean Clements ep245-A.jpg|Sean in the studio ep245-B.jpg|Hayes and Riki in the studio ep245-C.jpg| Detective Bosch in the studio having a nice sleepy References Riki Lindhome, Our Close Friend